Recently I became a father for the second time. My wife and I went from the doctor’s giving us little to no chance of being able to conceive naturally, to having an 18-month old son and a two-month old daughter. Our ability to bear children is truly a testament to God’s faithfulness. The Lord spoke to me during prayer one evening and told me that it was going to happen in his timing. Matter of fact, he gave me specific numbers to go along with his promise. And then as confirmation, he led my pastor to tell my wife that she was going to conceive in 2007. God gave us the word, confirmed it, but still required us to have faith and the patience to wait on His divine timing. Sure enough, we had our first child October 2007.Fast forward to the present, I feel like a veteran to this parenting game, yet, I realize I have a lot to learn. Day by day my son learns to say and do something new, leaving us baffled about where he picked up his new skills. Then at times, when I look at him, it’s like looking into a mirror. Not only does the child resemble me, but he has my gestures and mannerisms down to a T. Just turn the TV to the Bulls or Cubs and he will yell and clap instantaneously. This is nothing he was taught, just something he observed from his father. Which leads me to my point... children need fathers, not “baby-daddies” or a child-support check!
My short stint as a father has reaffirmed what I already knew, but now I see it in practice. The Bible commissions men to be the head of the household. Meaning, we are held responsible for the well-being of the family. It is our job to be the protector, provider, disciplinarian, and the one who makes tough decisions when necessary. All of these things should be done in consultation and consideration of the spouse, but the onus is not on her, God holds the man responsible. Got issues with that statement? Click to read more.
Children need fathers because they need to see theory in action. Lip service is not enough - the best example is the one you live. Children need fathers because baby-daddies are not there to get up in the middle of the night to rock baby back to sleep. Baby-daddies are not there to put Orajel on sore gums. Baby-daddies are not there to give the toddler a bath while mama is nursing the infant to sleep. Children need fathers because a child-support check cannot teach a child how to throw or catch and how to read or write. Children need fathers because young boys need to see how a woman is supposed to be treated; and young girls need to know they do not have to settle for less. Children need fathers because a woman can do her very best, but she can never teach a young boy how to be a man.
God designed a mother and father to raise children together to bring about balance and to share the responsibility. It’s time out for part-time fathers and baby-daddies. And if you are functioning in your role as a father, God bless you, but you do not get a gold star. It’s mighty funny how some men want to brag and boast for doing what they are supposed to be doing in the first place – evidence of low societal standards.
To those men who are no longer with their children’s mother, do not allow this barrier to cause you to abort your God-given responsibility. If both parents have the children’s best interest at heart, the kids will still be able to receive the balance needed from both parents, and that special element that only a father can provide.
2 comments:
No doubt kids will benefit from having two loving parents to support them and teach them the ways of the world, right from wrong, and give them skills to cope with the madness that surrounds us everyday. I do think that a single parent is capable of doing this, though it is more challenging. I also strongly believe that two mothers or two dads could provide the same nurturing and supportive environment that a mom and a dad could. It had more to do with the environment created, and not the gender of the people involved, IMHO.
I'm no parent yet-God willingly someday! I teach Sunday school as a preparation time-lol! What I can say is this clique..."It takes a village to raise a child". That village includes a "mom" and "dad" figure, which can be various ages too. I used to mentor a teenager where I currently live and I can do so much. He needed a female "figure" too, which he did get at times (local church). However, his "single parent" dad needed the "village"! Check out my "ironic" recent blog post (did this today!) on "What's your adoption story?"
Post a Comment