This post is well overdue, but never the less, here it is. It is in response to a comment made by my beloved atheist, liberal, former co-worker and friend, Josh -aka- Raging Dad. Not only is Josh an avid reader of my blog, a feat hard to pull off due to the infrequent posts, I can almost always count on him to post a comment to the story he reads, even if it’s just making a comment about a grammatical error - yes he is a grammar geek. Sometimes when I post an article, I know that it is going to strum at the liberal cords of Josh’s heart…reminiscent of the good ol’ days back at Minneapolis Public Schools. However, when I posted the article “Children need fathers, not baby-daddies” I did not expect to hear from him, but never willing to disappoint, he came through as usual. And as usual, while I respect his view, I disagree with most of what he wrote.
Josh wrote: No doubt kids will benefit from having two loving parents to support them and teach them the ways of the world, right from wrong, and give them skills to cope with the madness that surrounds us every day. I do think that a single parent is capable of doing this, though it is more challenging. I also strongly believe that two mothers or two dads could provide the same nurturing and supportive environment that a mom and a dad could. It had more to do with the environment created, and not the gender of the people involved, IMHO [in my humble opinion].
The first point I want to address is growing up in a single parent home as opposed to having two parents in the home. I agree that a single parent can provide a strong support system and is more than capable of teaching right from wrong. I also agree that this is a challenging feat to undertake. Having two kids of my own, I give much honor and respect to folks like my mother who raised multiple kids, with far less resources, all on their own. And while single parents do their very best to raise their children, there is an irrefutable fact without an exception to its rule. That is the fact that a woman can never teach a boy how to be a man and a man can never teach a girl how to be a woman.
As a man, I can instruct my daughter on how she should carry herself as a young lady. I can tell her what type of boys she will draw by wearing certain outfits. I can also teach her right from wrong, establish values based on our beliefs, and I can teach her to have self-worth so she does not settle for any ol’ knucklehead who comes her way. These life lessons, however, are from a male’s perspective… because I know how “we” think. But when it comes time for my daughter to have her monthly, or when her hormones start to run rambunctiously, there’s not much I can do for her because I have no experience in that area. I am a firm believer that real experience and practice outweighs theory or guessing. Beyond this, there are other things that only a woman can relate to another woman, and there is nothing wrong with that. We were made differently for a reason. The same goes for a young boy as it relates to his mother.
Regarding the comment on same sex parents, I do not disagree that they can provide a nurturing and supportive environment as well. This article was not about the effectiveness of same sex partners, but was a charge to men to step up to their God-given roles. Yet, my stance with same sex parents remains the same as with single parents. Two women cannot teach a boy to be a man and two men cannot teach a girl how to be a woman. They can teach them how to be good, respectable people, but there will always be an element missing.
Our differing in opinion, Raging Dad, is and will remain because of my faith and belief in God and your lack thereof. There are certain things that are immutable according to the Word of God. Proverbs 1:8-9 reads, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” In this verse, Solomon was saying that the wisdom and instruction from a mother and father will bring about blessings and its worth is invaluable. This proverb also shows that there are roles for the mother and father to bring balance in rearing the children. Therefore, I once again admonish parents, in particularly fathers, not to abandon their God-given roles. No matter what the world or society may say, children need fathers in their lives.
