Children need fathers, not “baby-daddies”

Recently I became a father for the second time. My wife and I went from the doctor’s giving us little to no chance of being able to conceive naturally, to having an 18-month old son and a two-month old daughter. Our ability to bear children is truly a testament to God’s faithfulness. The Lord spoke to me during prayer one evening and told me that it was going to happen in his timing. Matter of fact, he gave me specific numbers to go along with his promise. And then as confirmation, he led my pastor to tell my wife that she was going to conceive in 2007. God gave us the word, confirmed it, but still required us to have faith and the patience to wait on His divine timing. Sure enough, we had our first child October 2007.

Fast forward to the present, I feel like a veteran to this parenting game, yet, I realize I have a lot to learn. Day by day my son learns to say and do something new, leaving us baffled about where he picked up his new skills. Then at times, when I look at him, it’s like looking into a mirror. Not only does the child resemble me, but he has my gestures and mannerisms down to a T. Just turn the TV to the Bulls or Cubs and he will yell and clap instantaneously. This is nothing he was taught, just something he observed from his father. Which leads me to my point... children need fathers, not “baby-daddies” or a child-support check!

My short stint as a father has reaffirmed what I already knew, but now I see it in practice. The Bible commissions men to be the head of the household. Meaning, we are held responsible for the well-being of the family. It is our job to be the protector, provider, disciplinarian, and the one who makes tough decisions when necessary. All of these things should be done in consultation and consideration of the spouse, but the onus is not on her, God holds the man responsible. Got issues with that statement? Click to read more.

Children need fathers because they need to see theory in action. Lip service is not enough - the best example is the one you live. Children need fathers because baby-daddies are not there to get up in the middle of the night to rock baby back to sleep. Baby-daddies are not there to put Orajel on sore gums. Baby-daddies are not there to give the toddler a bath while mama is nursing the infant to sleep. Children need fathers because a child-support check cannot teach a child how to throw or catch and how to read or write. Children need fathers because young boys need to see how a woman is supposed to be treated; and young girls need to know they do not have to settle for less. Children need fathers because a woman can do her very best, but she can never teach a young boy how to be a man.

God designed a mother and father to raise children together to bring about balance and to share the responsibility. It’s time out for part-time fathers and baby-daddies. And if you are functioning in your role as a father, God bless you, but you do not get a gold star. It’s mighty funny how some men want to brag and boast for doing what they are supposed to be doing in the first place – evidence of low societal standards.

To those men who are no longer with their children’s mother, do not allow this barrier to cause you to abort your God-given responsibility. If both parents have the children’s best interest at heart, the kids will still be able to receive the balance needed from both parents, and that special element that only a father can provide.

Love that chicken from Popeyes

Twin City residents were salty, after traveling near and far to Popeyes Chicken on Lake Street, to find out that the franchise was not honoring the nationally advertised eight pieces of chicken for $4.99 on Earth Day. The local Fox 9 News thought this story was so mind-blowing, that they sent a field reporter to cover the shotty business practices and to get reactions from the irate costumers. While some may appreciate Fox for pulling the covers off the only Popeyes in the state of Minnesota – a franchise notorious for not honoring national deals – I feel there are bigger ramifications to this news stations’ coverage.

For starters, the fact that they did not honor the ad was not news worthy. Most national ads have disclaimers at the bottom that say, “Offer may vary at participating locations.” Even though two reliable sources informed me that this particular commercial did not have a disclaimer, most American consumers know the drill. We’ve come to accept airports and malls charging more than local chains, and no one throws a fit about it - we either buy the food or we move on. If the media decided to cover every time a local business did not honor a national ad, there would be a story practically every day. The bottom line is this, when you are a franchise, it is your prerogative to run sales as you see fit. As consumers, we may not like it, but it’s the fact of the matter.

The bigger issue I have with this “news” story is that it reinforces stereotypes to those who have negative perceptions about black people. The Fox 9 reporter started his report by saying, “I haven’t seen people this passionate about something in a long time!” Really, Mr. Reporter? Our country is at war, kids of color are steadily scoring lower on tests than their counterparts, people are losing their jobs and our country is in a recession, and the only thing we can get passionate about is fried chicken? What is more disheartening is that the people actually gave the news crew the material to use. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn’t watching the Chappelle Show or Chocolate News. Here they are, throwing a fit, because they couldn’t get their friend chicken. One foolish person had the audacity to let us know he caught a cab all the way from Burnsville. I haven’t taken the time to do a cost benefit analysis, but I do know cabs have a minimal fee of $5 and the alleged sale was for $4.99 plus tax.

To add to that, unlike our white brothers and sisters, people of color always represent the whole when negatively shown in the media. When the news has a breaking story that says, “Man caught stealing happy meal toys,” my first reaction is…please don’t let him be black. Why? It’s because unlearned individuals tend to think this one ignoramus represents the entire race. Arabs are now targeted because of the actions of some militant Muslims. Yet, whites were not targeted when Timothy McVeigh decided to drive a bomb into a government complex in Oklahoma City or when Ted Kaczynski, AKA the Unabomber, decided to send bombs via U.S. mail.

The reporter concluded his story by saying, “The moral of the story is, don’t mess with hungry people.” No Fox news, the moral of the story is you need to report on issues that matter for a change.